My Novel!

I just  posted a preview of the first two chapters of my novel, Choice. If you've enjoyed the posts I've put on here in the past, then you should go on over to my website and give the first couple chapters a try.  To preview the chapters go here.

To see my website and what the book is about or when and where I will be doing readings go here.
Enjoy!.

Back in Black: Day 18- Need to better prepare for the week ahead

Admittedly, last week wasn’t the best.



Monday-Thursday I neglected to prepare for breakfast and ended up having either a Clementine or Greek yogurt and some peanut butter- White Chocolate Wonderful which has sugar cane juice instead of sugar and the lowest calorie and fat count in the market. I drank Bengal spice tea, water or green tea with blueberry and acai.

For lunches Monday and Tuesday I had popcorn, peanut butter or nothing.  Wednesday and Thursday I had greens, lima beans, roast and Greek yogurt. I drank Bengal spice tea and water.

For Dinner on Monday I cheated with Chinese food with the family--shrimp Lo mien, which I ate about five bites of and was done, 4 chicken teriyaki sticks, an eggroll, 2 crab Rangoon and a Mr. Pibb. I totally paid for this meal the rest of the week, feeling sluggish, toxic and just plain disgusting and full of grease—just hearing the word Chinese still churns my stomach. I’m feeling sick just typing about it! Yuk!

For Dinners: Tuesday I had avocado, black beans and ground beef, Wednesday I had liver, greens and limas and Greek yogurt, Thursday was roast, carrots and limas.

Friday we had a potluck at work. I had a few bites of chili and a spinach, feta and ricotta pastry. Dinner we went to Cheddars and I had a water with lemon, coke, a spirit-free strawberry daiquiri, baked potato with butter and sour cream, broccoli cheese casserole , baby back ribs and their amazing chicken strips. I only ate half of this meal and got the rest to go—is there any wonder why?

Saturday for brunch I had leftovers from yesterday’s dinner and Greek yogurt. Dinner was Outback Steak House-water with lemon, coke, steak, coconut fried shrimp, garlic mashed potatoes and pumpernickel bread with honey butter and then a small gelato with sea-salted caramel, double dark chocolate and raspberry truffle flavors. This is when I noticed that my stomach had obviously stretched from last week, because in my last blog I talked about only being able to down half of my meals out.

Sunday I had liver, scrambled eggs with I can’t believe it’s not butter spray and chocolate milk and Greek yogurt. I skipped lunch. For dinner we went to a friend’s house and had water and homemade pizza.


So as you can see not so good, but not entirely awful!….right? Well, at least until the weekend hit and Monday of course. ? --May be some delusions there, huh? So, moving on to this Saturday I have an appointment with a personal trainer. She will do an assessment of my current status and come up with a plan that will get me to my goal without discouraging me from trying. I will update you on how that goes. Have a great week and Enjoy!

Back in Black: Day...whatever!

So, it feels like I've been doing this FOR-EV-ER!

Today was tough. I had decided that I needed a Ice Cream Sandwich from Cold Stone Creamery. I'd convinced myself that I could do this if I followed one of the following rules:

1. I didn't eat anything else for the rest of the day.
2. If tomorrow, my cheat day, I neglected to partake in one item that I had planned too.
3. I called my mother and she agreed that I deserved to have something good since I've been strict at following the diet, even though everyone else around me is eating pizza and garlic-butter-cheese sticks, and Dr. Pepper and fried chicken and Happy meals from McDonalds!

So, I analyzed each of the above rules I'd come up with--while driving to Cold Stone Creamery-- and here is what I determined:

1. Probably not feasible since I only had an orange for breakfast.  So, I most likely am going to feel like eating at least one of my cats by the time I get off work and I love my cats, they are like my children and eating babies is wrong-- so this was decidedly not the way to go. On to rule 2....

2. This was covered in fail sauce the second I thought of it because tomorrow I am going to a party with tons of mouth watering culinary delights never before tasted by my buds and I cannot deny them. That just leaves rule 3.

3.I called my mom--while sitting in front of Cold Stone Creamery--fully aware that in the past she has always agreed that I do deserve some happiness, especially after all I go through and how tough I've been and of course she is going to help me come up with a reason or even several that will make my venture into the Creamery's wonderland of goodness legal.

So, I call her up and tell her where I am at and everything was kind of a blur as to what I actually said because my head was swimming with sugary visions and the FACT that any second now I would be walking through those brilliantly advertised doors and biting into the most glorious thing the world has ever tasted, this call was really just a precursor a simple bit of red tape in which mere seconds from now I would have the signature for the go-ahead and then she said the magic words!....

Okay I don't really recall what they were, but basically it was "No" and something to the effect of "drive away" and then being made aware of where I really was,  "walk away"...

So, instead I got soup or really it should be called broth with vegetables and about four pieces of meat the size of my thumb. They said it was for two, but my stomach laughed at them.

About two hours later my office has a birthday party and brings in white chocolate cheesecake with raspberry sauce, real whipped cream, dark chocolate graham cracker crust and shavings of white chocolate... and oh no that wasn't enough temptation apparently! They also brought in a double dark chocolate cheesecake with a white chocolate layer, dark fudge icing dollops and covered in mini chocolate chips!!!!!

Somehow I resisted without fainting from the anxiety...

Then I went to the store and the chicken strips were literally calling my name-- or at least that's what they seemed to be doing.

I am so distraught right now that I can't even think about what to eat tonight. My plan is to wait until midnight and then eat both slices of the cheesecake I brought home from work. I had planned on sharing them tomorrow, but I don't think that is a sane persons plan do you?

And that isn't all.  Now I was fully aware that this meal plan was supposed to regulate sugar levels, thyroid issue and metabolism, what I did NOT expect was it to regulate my hormones. You may wan to skip this part if you don't want to hear about women issues....




I gave you some space just in case.

So, I started my cycle about day 6 and it hasn't stopped!!! Now I realize that a normal cycle is typically seven days, but that it is a heck of a lot when you haven't had one in a YEAR! Even in the priior year I had it maybe for five days TOTAL...the entire year! This has been going on for several years. Not from drugs or birth control, but just because my system is jacked up with PCOS, which BTW is when I began retaining all this weight.  So, yeah, guess it straightens out hormones too? Anyway, hence the reason why I've been in pain, feeling crappy and talking myself out of chocolate every five seconds. Kind of failed on that last night though because I found some mini chocolate chips in the fridge and ate about an 1/8 of a cup. Not bad I suppose since I wanted to just pour the bag into my mouth, but still I really shouldn't have. So there's my update.

Enjoy!

Back in Black: Day 5-Not so good :(

Today I feel like Mike Tyson B& E'd my bedroom last night, administered anesthesia and gave me a beat-down. My entire body aches and feels bruised. I swear if you touch me on any random point on my body I will vomit, as if I have a million buttons equipped with instant projectile capability. Also, a migraine has been persistently thunking the back of my cranium since I awoke this morning.

And I know the only thing that will stop me from feeling like crawling into an Rumpelstiltskin hole and sleeping off the next 500 years is the healing formula of a cheeseburger, fries and coke combination. Only a Happy meal from McDonald's can get rid of the awful way I feel right now.

For the past two days I have missed breakfast and lunch. Last night I had Salmon with dairy-free hollandaise, green beans-N-ham, carrots and a tangelo. Today I've had nothing so far. Mostly because the twisting in my stomach and the pressure in my throat warn that they might not be able to keep it down.

I will post a Salmon w/ hollandaise recipe on here later this week. Right now I'm going back to bed.

Back in Black: Day 3- Black beans

Breakfast: 1 Orange, 3oz ham, 1 C lentils

Lunch: 1C.Lentils, 1/4 C. pickles, 3oz pulled pork ( Work catered lunch today)
Dinner:1C. Black beans, 1C. steamed broccoli, ground beef with pico d gallo and guacamole,black cherry sugar-free jello cup.

So today my work place catered in lunch. I ate my lentils and ate the only items that didn't have sugar or starches.
I was really craving sugar tonight so I had a SF jello cup that help tremendously. I had to stop myself from getting another one-- not that I couldn't, but I really was okay without it. Yay for self-control!

Black beans:
From 1 package dry black beans follow instructions for cooking. grate fresh lime over and enjoy!


So I was going through some boxes and I came across some past picture of myself and OMG do I look different!

I don't know about you, but in my head I still look like I'm seventeen--the mirror disagrees...
 
Anyhow, I think these pictures will be a good reminder of where I am heading.

Then I found some letters from guys I knew and I was blown away that someone, let alone several someones, had ever felt that way about me-- like I was someone special. It forced me to think back to how I used to be, confident, compassionate, attentive, a great listener, assertive and ambitious. All attributes that I still possess, but on a much lesser level. I've had quite a bit of beating down over the years and it's only been in the last few that I've begun to believe that I can be better than I think I am and that I am indeed special in ways that others can appreciate. Also, apparently I had musical aspirations because I found more than a few lyric sheets that I'd written--totally forgot about that!

When was the last time you revisited your past self?

( I will post pictures soon.)

Enjoy!

Back in Black: Day 2- Cabbage Rolls recipe

I prepared everything for today last night. I then divided it into portions and placed it in ziplocked bags. So all I had to do this morning was grab the bags for breakfast, lunch and snack to take to work. Made things SO much easier!
For Breaskfast I had 1 hard boiled egg
1/2C Lentils
1/2 Orange
2000 mg fish oil in capsules
16oz Water

For Lunch I had 1 C baby carrots
1/4C Garbanzo beans
2 Cabbage rolls ( about a Cup)
1/2C Fresh Spinach
16oz Water with 1/4 packet of Oolong Tea with Mangosteen (Tastes like soda. Instructions say use the whole pkt for 16oz of water, but that is way too sweet for me. My brother luvs this stuff, because he is addicted to soda. This satisfies like soda. I put 3 pkts in an empty 2 liter soda bottle. I got this at Wal-mart in the coffee section for about 2bucks for 10 packets; which equates to approximately 3 2 liters of "soda". Not bad.)

Snack 1/2 Orange
1 hard boiled egg

For Dinner I had 1 cabbage roll
3oz Hickory smoked, spiral ham, with no glaze
1/2 C Spinach
1/2C Lentils
60oz of Green Tea with Purple Acai and Blueberry ( Also from Wal-mart) This may seem like a lot, but it's 3 20oz cups of tea



Cabbage rolls
Preheat oven to 350F
Mix together:
1/4 cup diced green onion
1/8 cup golden raisins ( technically I should have left this out on account of the sugar)
1 Tbsp ground cumin
1/2 lb ground beef
1/2 cup tomato puree
1/8 cup chopped fresh parsley
1/4 cup diced bell pepper ( I used yellow)
2 tsp salt ( I use himalayan)
4 tsp ground pepper


Take several cabbage leaves and wrap about  a 1/4 cup of burger mix inside.
In a baking dish spread tomato puree to cover bottom. I added some fresh parsley on top of the puree. Lay rolls with wrapped ends down. Spoon a small amount of tomato puree on top.
Bake for about 25 minutes.

Serve with lentils and fresh spinach.

Back in Black: Day 1- Fajita Burger and Pico d' Gallo Recipe

So, I really did not prepare for today at all.

For breakfast I had 1 scoop of Love and Peas in about 6 oz of water and 3 clementines

For lunch I had 4 clementines.

After work I went shopping.
For a snack I had about a cup of baby carrots.

For Dinner I had 1 cup lentils, 1 cup fresh spinach and Fajita burger with pico d' gallo and guacamole and an orange.

Fajita Burger ( This is for 2 people)
Mix together:

1/2 lb ground beef
3 Tbsp McCormick Fajita seasoning
1 tsp salt
2 tsp ground pepper
2 garlic cloves

Form into patties and cook over medium-high heat until done to preference.

Pico d' gallo
4 cloves garlic, diced
1/4 cup shopped cilantro
3 tomatoes, diced with seeds removed
1 tsp salt
1 Tbsp lime or lemon juice.
Let set at least 15 minutes

Place burger on romaine lettuce, top with pico d'gallo and guacamole.

Serve with black beans or lentils.

Enjoy!