So, I worked with a guy who had been on a soap opera you may have heard of called Melrose Place. He played the part of Alan Ross. By the time I met him he had decided shifting to the role of director.
He had this idea for a horror movie based on a true event. History tells of an Island in Illinois. The island was kept safe from being flooded by the Mississippi river by a dam. In the late 1800's or early 1900's ( this is where my recollection gets a bit fuzzy) either a hurricane threatened to take out the town, or a torrent of rain storms threatened to flood the surrounding cities. Whatever the reason, it was determined that there was no other choice but to let loose the dam and flood the town.
Here is where the movie diverts from history. In reality the town was evacuated before it was flooded. In the directors vision there was no time to warn anyone and hundreds were sacrificed to save the surrounding cities.
In his story, he fast forwarded to the present where a journalist (and descendant of one of the drowned towns people) decided to take a film crew to do a documentary on the tragedy. They stayed in a cabin where they found several articles dating back a hundred years reporting disappearances--some quite unusual with supernatural undertones--in the cities surrounding the island.
This is where I come in. I wrote over 81 newspaper articles, complete with pictures as props, for the film. I got rather creative. Once I was done with those, I helped by cooking meals, doing make-up for the extras, and cleaning.
Now let's talk about the cleaning because this is where my experience all started.
So, one Saturday I was in a meeting with other crew members; volunteers were asked to go and clean the cabin where the actors would be staying and some of the filming would take place. There were about three of us that agreed to show up at 9 am the next morning.
Here is what was expected...
So I had some idea of what I was getting into.
Here is where things went wrong...
I am a detailed-speed-cleaning-freak. I like to get it done fast and right. Anyone who is "helping" is just in my way and is likely to get run over and sprayed with cleaner. So, knowing this about myself I thought I'd get there early, and by the time the other two showed up all that would need to be done is some vacuuming and fridge cleaning-- I was doing everyone a favor...right?
I arrived at the cabin at 7 am in cleaning clothes and with my own tools in hand. I saw a car in the drive and thought, "Right. I bet the guy who went on vacation left his car here and got a ride to the airport."
I then went up onto the deck and began to enter the window off the living room. I was having trouble with the window when a dog came up to it; I thought, "Huh, he left his dog here. That's strange."
I had just got the window open and one leg ready to breach it when I noticed a man staring at me through the sliding glass door. I about had a heart attack! I had awoken him and he was less than dressed for company. He looked at me and said what anyone might say upon finding someone entering through their window, "Uh, what are you doing?"
"Um, well I was told there wasn't a key and to use the window. Who are you?"
He gave me a rather undignified look, "I live here.This is MY house. Who are you?"
"Lisa," I answered and quickly added, cause I was really confused as to why he was here. "I was told you were on vacation."
"So, you thought you'd break in when I'm not home?"
"Yes, I mean, No. I came to clean your house."
Another disbelieving look, "We have a cleaning crew for that."
"Yeah, well they came and said its too filthy. They wouldn't do it. So I'm here and there are two others coming around nine."
"Nine? Its 7am you're a bit early aren't you?"
"I like to work alone. I get more done that way."
Now, during this whole exchange he is still practically naked and I'm still outside with the door closed.
Finally, he lets me in and thanks me for coming. I proceed to clean his house, while he does... I don't know ... breakfast?
Nine hours later I'm exhausted and no one else showed. So, I was done. We got to talking about how he didn't have a TV or radio for the actors. I happened to have a T.V./ radio/ record player combo--you know one of those cool seventies deals. I said he could have it if he wanted to come get it. I live an hour away and he said he knew a short-cut and to follow him. He also offered to buy me lunch as a thank you. I thought that was appropriate, and I said, "That would be great. I haven't eaten at all today, but I need to get some gas first. I'm on empty" He said he'd follow me.
We got to the gas station. I only had 25 dollars to my name at that time and I still needed food for the week. So, I was going to put in ten bucks for half a tank (Wow! That makes me feel old. It really wasn't that long ago when I could fill my tank for 20 dollars!) So, I'm getting ready to go in and pay the cashier 10 dollars when Jon- as he introduced himself- swiped his credit card and said, "Fill it up. I'm buying. Its the least I can do." Awesome!
So, I filled up my tank and he pressed the no receipt button. I followed him to the first stop light and it turned red just as he had passed through it. I sat there waiting for it to turn green, then I noticed lights flashing behind me. A cop car. I remember thinking that as soon as the light changed I'd move out of his way so he could get past. The light turned green and I pulled over onto the side of the bridge so he could get by.
Only he pulled in behind me. Now I was totally confused. I turned off my car, rolled down my window, and the cop came over and asked, "Did you just come from that gas station?" as he pointed to where I'd just came from, I answered, "Yes.'"
He then said curtly, "Did you forget to pay for your gas?"
I know I had to have turned red. "Um, no. I didn't pay for it. The guy--whose name had just inconveniently escaped my mind-- paid for it?"
The officer looked around and his brows furrowed, "What guy?"
"The guy that was in front of me." I pointed futility to where I had last seen the guy who presumably hadn't yet realized that I was no longer following him and still continuing on his way to my house.
"Right... Can you give me your license?" So, I'm rummaging through my purse when it hits me; I just bought this purse yesterday and I hadn't emptied out my other one into it yet, which meant... "Um, I don't have it."
"Of course."
At this point you may be thinking,, Why didn't you just explain that? Well, I knew a cop once and he said when a officer asks you a question do not try to explain away or they will think that you are hiding something. Innocent people have no need to explain themselves. So, my heart was pounding, and I was doing my best to remain calm and not seem like a criminal by following his advice.
Next thing I know, he jumps back from my door and puts his hand on his pistol, "Maam, I need you to exit the vehicle."
Okay, so I had, at this point, no idea what I'd done to freak him out. I get out and there are THREE other cop cars and FIVE other officers standing outside their vehicles!!! Now I'm in handcuffs and doing my best not to show how hysterical I'm becoming. He turns me around and asks, "Is this your vehicle?"
Now this is where things REALLY start to unravel for me.
I was in my brothers car. He borrowed mine to go to Florida because mine was tagged at the time, his was not and he had a job waiting for him if only he'd arrived that Monday. So he took my car and I kept his and had been getting rides with people until he could send me his tags. I put on the tag and it went missing. I reported it stolen, but within a week they found it and mailed it back to meI'm sure this only supported his suspicions that I was a thief!
"Is this your car?" I swallowed hard, "No, its' my brothers."
"Really? Does he know you have it?"
"Yes."
"Then why is it reported stolen?" his tone was accusatory.
"Um, well I reported it stolen." (I did a lot of Um's back then when I was nervous.)
He laughed once and seemed amused, "Okay, explain then."
I was impressed that he kept level headed enough to continue to give me the benefit of the doubt.
"Well, you see my brother took my car and I have his and about a month ago the tags on his car went missing and I thought maybe someone took them because they are from Florida and I'm sure Illinoisans think Florida tags are cool. So I reported them stolen and then about a week ago someone had found them and sent them to my brothers address in Florida and he then shipped them to me. I didn't think that it would still be reported stolen since they were found."
He listened and then a officer came over and said something in his ear. His blue eyes glared at me, "Is your name Link?"
"Um, no." again following the rule of non-explanation,'cause its worked great for me so far...
"Because Link reported these stolen."
Okay now I was starting to lose my cool. "No seriously I reported them! You can ask the person who I talked to!" Miraculously I remembered the persons name!
So, he calls up there and of course that guy is not on duty that day, but there was a lady there who remembered taking the call and so she was going to get a hold of the guy on his cell
In the meantime, while we're waiting, he searched my purse....... Now, back then I carried some rather...... interesting things in my tent-of-a-purse. I wish I could adequately describe the look on his face as he pulled out each item and then looked at me; sometimes coyly, sometimes on the verge of laughter, but I'm certain he was completely unprepared, baffled, and amused by what he found.
I just kept thinking of how worse it could have been, because just that week my counselor had prescribed that I carry a pack of needles around with me in my purse as a treatment to my phobia of them. How the heck would I have explained not being diabetic and needing all those needles?
K so, then he asked again, "Did you steal the gas?"
"No."
"Did you steal the car?"
"No."
"Did you steal the tags?"
"No."
"Did you just forget to pay?"
"No."
"Then you stole the gas?"
"No, the guy paid for it."
"What guy?"
"The guy that was in front of me."
"And why would he buy your gas?"
"Because I cleaned his house?"
"You live in Illinois?"
"Yes."
"That's an hour away. Do you clean houses for a living?"
"No."
"Then why were you cleaning his house?"
"Because I was working on a film and they needed someone to do it because it was too disgusting for a cleaning crew to do it."
"Uh, huh. Why isn't this guy here now?"
"I don't know. I was following him. So, I guess he doesn't realize that I'm not still behind him?"
"Okay, What kind of vehicle was he in?"
"I don't know... a green one?"
"Where were you following him too?"
"My house."
"You don't know him, but you're following him to your house."
"He said he knew a shortcut."
His right brow lifted. "What is his name?"
I bit my lip, "I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"I can't remember. I only met him this once."
He rolled his eyes. "And how do you know him?'
"I'm working for a guy on a film and I said I'd clean his house and--, blah, blah, blah. insert reiteration here.
Then I remembered the guys name was Jon!, but not his last name. Then I remembered the guy I was working for Lonnie Schuyler. The cops face brightened and his ears perked up.
I said, "I can call him and he can tell you."
So, we called Lonnie and he confirmed everything I'd said at about the same time that the officer who I had reported the tags to confirmed that I had been the one to report the tags stolen, not my brother, but he had to put it under Link's name because it was his car.
The cop just so happened to be friends with Lonnie. By the end of it, he was laughing his head off. He gave me his card and said if I ever had any trouble to give him a call.
Then he said that if I wanted to pay for the gas I could go with no charges, even though the attendant at the station still wanted too, even after he explained everything.
It turned out that Jon had seen the whole thing! He was parked only a few blocks away, watching from up the street. He said he thought I was busted for drugs and wanted to stay out of it. I said, "You know, this two hour ordeal would have been over in about two minutes if you'd just came over and explained that you hit the cancel button instead of the no receipt button on accident." He explained that his tags were expired, he had no insurance, and his license might have been suspended.
Well, I never got lunch and he never paid for my $20 dollars worth of gas, which left me practically broke, but he did get the TV from me. He apologized later and thanked me publicly, but the IMBD credits a different Lisa Masters as Art Director--granted that she has a vastly more impressive resume and profile picture... at least I've got my crazy story out of it! :)
The movie is called Beneath The Mississippi. If I can find the articles I wrote, I'll post them here later. Hope you enjoyed.
He had this idea for a horror movie based on a true event. History tells of an Island in Illinois. The island was kept safe from being flooded by the Mississippi river by a dam. In the late 1800's or early 1900's ( this is where my recollection gets a bit fuzzy) either a hurricane threatened to take out the town, or a torrent of rain storms threatened to flood the surrounding cities. Whatever the reason, it was determined that there was no other choice but to let loose the dam and flood the town.
Here is where the movie diverts from history. In reality the town was evacuated before it was flooded. In the directors vision there was no time to warn anyone and hundreds were sacrificed to save the surrounding cities.
In his story, he fast forwarded to the present where a journalist (and descendant of one of the drowned towns people) decided to take a film crew to do a documentary on the tragedy. They stayed in a cabin where they found several articles dating back a hundred years reporting disappearances--some quite unusual with supernatural undertones--in the cities surrounding the island.
This is where I come in. I wrote over 81 newspaper articles, complete with pictures as props, for the film. I got rather creative. Once I was done with those, I helped by cooking meals, doing make-up for the extras, and cleaning.
Now let's talk about the cleaning because this is where my experience all started.
So, one Saturday I was in a meeting with other crew members; volunteers were asked to go and clean the cabin where the actors would be staying and some of the filming would take place. There were about three of us that agreed to show up at 9 am the next morning.
Here is what was expected...
- The cabin was to be empty because the movie producer/grandson of the owners was on vacation in Paris.
- The cabin was so filthy that the professional cleaning crew that was hired took one look and said, "No way. We don't handle this kind of mess."
- Two other people were to be there to help
- The only way to enter was through the window off the deck into the living room.
So I had some idea of what I was getting into.
Here is where things went wrong...
I am a detailed-speed-cleaning-freak. I like to get it done fast and right. Anyone who is "helping" is just in my way and is likely to get run over and sprayed with cleaner. So, knowing this about myself I thought I'd get there early, and by the time the other two showed up all that would need to be done is some vacuuming and fridge cleaning-- I was doing everyone a favor...right?
I arrived at the cabin at 7 am in cleaning clothes and with my own tools in hand. I saw a car in the drive and thought, "Right. I bet the guy who went on vacation left his car here and got a ride to the airport."
I then went up onto the deck and began to enter the window off the living room. I was having trouble with the window when a dog came up to it; I thought, "Huh, he left his dog here. That's strange."
I had just got the window open and one leg ready to breach it when I noticed a man staring at me through the sliding glass door. I about had a heart attack! I had awoken him and he was less than dressed for company. He looked at me and said what anyone might say upon finding someone entering through their window, "Uh, what are you doing?"
"Um, well I was told there wasn't a key and to use the window. Who are you?"
He gave me a rather undignified look, "I live here.This is MY house. Who are you?"
"Lisa," I answered and quickly added, cause I was really confused as to why he was here. "I was told you were on vacation."
"So, you thought you'd break in when I'm not home?"
"Yes, I mean, No. I came to clean your house."
Another disbelieving look, "We have a cleaning crew for that."
"Yeah, well they came and said its too filthy. They wouldn't do it. So I'm here and there are two others coming around nine."
"Nine? Its 7am you're a bit early aren't you?"
"I like to work alone. I get more done that way."
Now, during this whole exchange he is still practically naked and I'm still outside with the door closed.
Finally, he lets me in and thanks me for coming. I proceed to clean his house, while he does... I don't know ... breakfast?
Nine hours later I'm exhausted and no one else showed. So, I was done. We got to talking about how he didn't have a TV or radio for the actors. I happened to have a T.V./ radio/ record player combo--you know one of those cool seventies deals. I said he could have it if he wanted to come get it. I live an hour away and he said he knew a short-cut and to follow him. He also offered to buy me lunch as a thank you. I thought that was appropriate, and I said, "That would be great. I haven't eaten at all today, but I need to get some gas first. I'm on empty" He said he'd follow me.
We got to the gas station. I only had 25 dollars to my name at that time and I still needed food for the week. So, I was going to put in ten bucks for half a tank (Wow! That makes me feel old. It really wasn't that long ago when I could fill my tank for 20 dollars!) So, I'm getting ready to go in and pay the cashier 10 dollars when Jon- as he introduced himself- swiped his credit card and said, "Fill it up. I'm buying. Its the least I can do." Awesome!
So, I filled up my tank and he pressed the no receipt button. I followed him to the first stop light and it turned red just as he had passed through it. I sat there waiting for it to turn green, then I noticed lights flashing behind me. A cop car. I remember thinking that as soon as the light changed I'd move out of his way so he could get past. The light turned green and I pulled over onto the side of the bridge so he could get by.
Only he pulled in behind me. Now I was totally confused. I turned off my car, rolled down my window, and the cop came over and asked, "Did you just come from that gas station?" as he pointed to where I'd just came from, I answered, "Yes.'"
He then said curtly, "Did you forget to pay for your gas?"
I know I had to have turned red. "Um, no. I didn't pay for it. The guy--whose name had just inconveniently escaped my mind-- paid for it?"
The officer looked around and his brows furrowed, "What guy?"
"The guy that was in front of me." I pointed futility to where I had last seen the guy who presumably hadn't yet realized that I was no longer following him and still continuing on his way to my house.
"Right... Can you give me your license?" So, I'm rummaging through my purse when it hits me; I just bought this purse yesterday and I hadn't emptied out my other one into it yet, which meant... "Um, I don't have it."
"Of course."
At this point you may be thinking,, Why didn't you just explain that? Well, I knew a cop once and he said when a officer asks you a question do not try to explain away or they will think that you are hiding something. Innocent people have no need to explain themselves. So, my heart was pounding, and I was doing my best to remain calm and not seem like a criminal by following his advice.
Next thing I know, he jumps back from my door and puts his hand on his pistol, "Maam, I need you to exit the vehicle."
Okay, so I had, at this point, no idea what I'd done to freak him out. I get out and there are THREE other cop cars and FIVE other officers standing outside their vehicles!!! Now I'm in handcuffs and doing my best not to show how hysterical I'm becoming. He turns me around and asks, "Is this your vehicle?"
Now this is where things REALLY start to unravel for me.
I was in my brothers car. He borrowed mine to go to Florida because mine was tagged at the time, his was not and he had a job waiting for him if only he'd arrived that Monday. So he took my car and I kept his and had been getting rides with people until he could send me his tags. I put on the tag and it went missing. I reported it stolen, but within a week they found it and mailed it back to meI'm sure this only supported his suspicions that I was a thief!
"Is this your car?" I swallowed hard, "No, its' my brothers."
"Really? Does he know you have it?"
"Yes."
"Then why is it reported stolen?" his tone was accusatory.
"Um, well I reported it stolen." (I did a lot of Um's back then when I was nervous.)
He laughed once and seemed amused, "Okay, explain then."
I was impressed that he kept level headed enough to continue to give me the benefit of the doubt.
"Well, you see my brother took my car and I have his and about a month ago the tags on his car went missing and I thought maybe someone took them because they are from Florida and I'm sure Illinoisans think Florida tags are cool. So I reported them stolen and then about a week ago someone had found them and sent them to my brothers address in Florida and he then shipped them to me. I didn't think that it would still be reported stolen since they were found."
He listened and then a officer came over and said something in his ear. His blue eyes glared at me, "Is your name Link?"
"Um, no." again following the rule of non-explanation,'cause its worked great for me so far...
"Because Link reported these stolen."
Okay now I was starting to lose my cool. "No seriously I reported them! You can ask the person who I talked to!" Miraculously I remembered the persons name!
So, he calls up there and of course that guy is not on duty that day, but there was a lady there who remembered taking the call and so she was going to get a hold of the guy on his cell
In the meantime, while we're waiting, he searched my purse....... Now, back then I carried some rather...... interesting things in my tent-of-a-purse. I wish I could adequately describe the look on his face as he pulled out each item and then looked at me; sometimes coyly, sometimes on the verge of laughter, but I'm certain he was completely unprepared, baffled, and amused by what he found.
I just kept thinking of how worse it could have been, because just that week my counselor had prescribed that I carry a pack of needles around with me in my purse as a treatment to my phobia of them. How the heck would I have explained not being diabetic and needing all those needles?
K so, then he asked again, "Did you steal the gas?"
"No."
"Did you steal the car?"
"No."
"Did you steal the tags?"
"No."
"Did you just forget to pay?"
"No."
"Then you stole the gas?"
"No, the guy paid for it."
"What guy?"
"The guy that was in front of me."
"And why would he buy your gas?"
"Because I cleaned his house?"
"You live in Illinois?"
"Yes."
"That's an hour away. Do you clean houses for a living?"
"No."
"Then why were you cleaning his house?"
"Because I was working on a film and they needed someone to do it because it was too disgusting for a cleaning crew to do it."
"Uh, huh. Why isn't this guy here now?"
"I don't know. I was following him. So, I guess he doesn't realize that I'm not still behind him?"
"Okay, What kind of vehicle was he in?"
"I don't know... a green one?"
"Where were you following him too?"
"My house."
"You don't know him, but you're following him to your house."
"He said he knew a shortcut."
His right brow lifted. "What is his name?"
I bit my lip, "I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"I can't remember. I only met him this once."
He rolled his eyes. "And how do you know him?'
"I'm working for a guy on a film and I said I'd clean his house and--, blah, blah, blah. insert reiteration here.
Then I remembered the guys name was Jon!, but not his last name. Then I remembered the guy I was working for Lonnie Schuyler. The cops face brightened and his ears perked up.
I said, "I can call him and he can tell you."
So, we called Lonnie and he confirmed everything I'd said at about the same time that the officer who I had reported the tags to confirmed that I had been the one to report the tags stolen, not my brother, but he had to put it under Link's name because it was his car.
The cop just so happened to be friends with Lonnie. By the end of it, he was laughing his head off. He gave me his card and said if I ever had any trouble to give him a call.
Then he said that if I wanted to pay for the gas I could go with no charges, even though the attendant at the station still wanted too, even after he explained everything.
It turned out that Jon had seen the whole thing! He was parked only a few blocks away, watching from up the street. He said he thought I was busted for drugs and wanted to stay out of it. I said, "You know, this two hour ordeal would have been over in about two minutes if you'd just came over and explained that you hit the cancel button instead of the no receipt button on accident." He explained that his tags were expired, he had no insurance, and his license might have been suspended.
Well, I never got lunch and he never paid for my $20 dollars worth of gas, which left me practically broke, but he did get the TV from me. He apologized later and thanked me publicly, but the IMBD credits a different Lisa Masters as Art Director--granted that she has a vastly more impressive resume and profile picture... at least I've got my crazy story out of it! :)
The movie is called Beneath The Mississippi. If I can find the articles I wrote, I'll post them here later. Hope you enjoyed.
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